


Better Dig Two

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: The Ballad of a Dove [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Forced Bonding, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7584463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Because if we're wrong," Shiro says, "and she's bluffing, then we're not just going to lose Lance. We're going to lose you too."</i>
</p><p>Keith has a chance to break the bond between Lance and Karala. The team just has to decide if the potential cost is worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If The Ties that Bind Ever Do Come Loose

**Author's Note:**

> So, as you've probably noticed, this installment is a two-parter. The _Ballad of a Dove_ series started out as an attempt to complete a bingo for my [H/C Bingo card](http://hc-bingo.dreamwidth.org/117742.html?thread=829934#cmt829934), and although it's blossomed into something else, I don't want to ignore its origins. Thus, in order to hit all the squares that I wanted to in this particular installment, it had to be a bit longer in terms of word count. This also meant it's taking me a bit longer to write. But since I didn't want to keep you guys waiting for TOO long, ~~and because I live off of feedback,~~ I split it into two chapters so that I could get _something_ out to you guys ASAP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to [Tina](http://idoltina.tumblr.com/) for the beta despite this not being her fandom. You are an angel and I love you so much! [Reblog from here!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/post/147961997378/fic-better-dig-two-part-i) Fic and chapter titles from [Better Dig Two by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIdCo_QAz_E), series title from [If I Die Young by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM)

After that first time, when Lance's desperation seemed to be the only thing that made him ask to open the cell, Keith hadn't expected to be allowed in again. So when Lance all but jumps to his feet and crosses to the control panel the next time Keith goes down to visit him, it takes Keith by surprise. Still, he meets Lance in front of the control panel, glancing between it and Lance's face, brighter than Keith's seen it in ages. "You sure?" he asks.

Lance rolls his eyes, slapping at the glass the same way he had last time. Keith laughs, placing his hand against the control panel. The cell slides open, and Lance steps forward, his fingers finding Keith's shoulder. He looks up at Keith questioningly, and Keith feels the smile on his face widen.

"Healing pod fixed me up just fine," he says, and Lance smiles, smoothing his fingers over Keith's shoulder, checking for any lingering pain. Keith takes his hand, lacing their fingers together on instinct alone. "I'm okay."

Lance smiles, childlike, and drags Keith into the cell behind him, his fingers finding the release mechanism for one of the beds in the cell with ease. He tugs Keith down to sit beside him on the bed, and Keith goes willingly, the interaction so like what he's been hoping for, even without Lance running his mouth.

Automatically, Keith reaches up to Lance's mouth at that thought, thumb brushing over his bottom lip. Lance flushes and looks away, and Keith draws his hand back automatically. "Shit, Lance, I didn't mean-- I wasn't--"

Lance blinks over at him, then smiles, shaking his head. It's easily recognizable as forgiveness, and Keith relaxes instantly.

"Okay. Good. As long as you know that."

Lance smiles, reaching up with his own hand, brushing his fingers over the arch of Keith's cheekbone. Keith leans into the touch, just taking the time to revel in being this close to Lance again. It's not everything he wants, but it's closer than he'd thought he'd get this soon, and for now, he'll take it.

(He doesn't notice the scrutinizing look Zheerun is giving him, but Karala does. She doesn't think she likes what it might mean.)

\----

Just under a week later, Keith catches Hunk staring at him at breakfast. When he turns to Hunk and cocks an eyebrow, Hunk turns away, looking flustered. Keith thinks he hears Pidge kick Hunk under the table, but he isn't sure.

Two days after that, Keith sees Pidge throwing thoughtful glances at him during training, but right as Keith's about to call them out for getting distracted, they get zapped and dropped out of the chamber, and then it's just him and Shiro battling it out against the droids, and Keith forgets about Pidge's weird behavior.

So when Shiro calls a team meeting and sits down to look Keith dead in the eye, Keith thinks he should have seen this coming.

"Something I should know?" he asks, aiming for nonchalant. Rather than feign amusement, the whole team tenses up instead.

"Actually, Keith, there is." Keith frowns at Shiro, whose eyes immediately dart away shiftily. "Zheerun said something to Pidge about ten days ago, but we wanted to wait for confirmation before we told you." Shiro scratches at the back of his head, laughing a little uncomfortably. "To be honest, I'm a little surprised Zheerun didn't tell you herself. She threatened to more than once."

Keith can feel his stomach twisting up tighter and tighter, and he doesn't dare get his hopes up, but if Shiro's this uncomfortable--

Shiro looks up at Keith again. "Zheerun thinks she might have a way to break Lance and Karala's bond."

For a second, Keith's brain short circuits. He can't speak, he can't think, he can barely _breathe_ , because… because…. He gets to his feet, his hands clenching into fists. "And you didn't tell me right away?"

Hunk glances between Keith and Shiro nervously, cutting in before Shiro can say anything. "We didn't want to tell you until we knew she wasn't just bluffing."

Keith swings his gaze over to Hunk, his anger sharp and bright enough to not be limited to one member of his team. "And was she?"

Hunk blinks. "Was she what?"

"Just bluffing?"

Hunk glances over at Pidge, who pushes their glasses up their nose. "No," Pidge says, their eyes on Keith. "We don't think she was."

"You don't think she was, or she wasn't?"

Pidge rolls their eyes. "We don't think she was. We can't know for sure until we run some tests, and to be honest I don't think we can know for sure until we actually try it."

"So then why don't we?" Keith snaps.

"Why don't we what?" Pidge answers coolly.

"Why don't we try it?"

"Because if we're wrong," Shiro says, "and she's bluffing, then we're not just going to lose Lance. We're going to lose you too."

\----

Keith makes his way down to the cells that day with turmoil in his chest and uncertainty in his throat. He steps into the cell on autopilot and greets Lance as usual, but he doesn't really notice the way Lance is looking up at him curiously. He only has eyes for Zheerun.

"You didn't tell me," he says.

She nods. "Your team likely would not have agreed to attempt the ritual if I had, and it's the best chance I have left to save Karala."

"Explain."

"Everything that I've read about unwilling bonds like Karala and Child's has said that severing the bond has a better than average chance of killing one or both of the bonded pair. We're probably facing even worse odds than that with the state that Child's mind is in right now, and it's liable to be Karala that gets the short end of the stick if we break the bond. I couldn't risk that. But there was one case study about a force-bonded pair that was successful in severing the bond. Both members of the bonded pair brought an alternative bondmate to the ritual, and by transferring the bond from the initial pair to the alternative bondmate, both members of the original pair survived. The findings were never replicated, but this one trial was a success, likely because the alternative bondmates had a high level of compatibility with the original pair. I hadn't considered it as a possibility because I hadn't seen anyone on this ship that would be a good pair with Child, and I knew your team wouldn't let me sever the bond without making an effort to save him too. But if the last week is any indication, you have a high enough compatibility with him that we may be able to save both of them."

Keith sits down hard on the floor. Lance follows him down, hands fluttering over his cheeks and shoulders. Keith catches Lance's hands in his own, a habit he'd long forgotten about, and turns to look at him. His mind is reeling, trying to make sense of what Zheerun is saying. "You're saying… you're saying we can break the bond if I bond with Lance."

"That's what I'm saying."

Keith swallows and turns to look at Zheerun. "And… and if I say no?"

Keith can practically see Zheerun's hackles rise at his words, but Karala reaches out, placing a hand on her knee. Zheerun looks over at her and relaxes slightly. "Then we'll make do," she says, her gaze steady on Karala. She looks back over at Keith, a confidence edging into arrogance on her face. "The three of us will find a way to make do."

Keith can hear the challenge in her voice, but he doesn't rise to meet it. He just looks over at Lance's curious face and brushes his hair off his forehead. Then he leans in and presses a kiss to his temple. He doesn't have to decide right now. He has time, and he's damn well going to take it.

\----

"Have you told Coran and Allura?"

Pidge and Shiro both wince at the accusation in Keith's words. "No," Pidge eventually says. "We didn't much see the point if it was a bluff."

"But you told me," Keith counters, letting the accusation bleed into his voice.

"We thought you'd at least be up for it!" Pidge snaps, looking irritated. "Up for it and way more likely to agree than Coran. Especially because if Zheerun is right, it's Coran's equipment we'll need to perform the ritual."

Keith sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Alright. Well, let's at least get them in the loop. I don't want to even ask Lance if he wants to break the bond if Allura or Coran is going to kibosh it."

Pidge's face goes pinched, but they lead the way up to Allura's central control room. "Princess?" they call, and she turns to smile at the team.

"Paladins," she says with a smile. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"We, uh. We have a question for you."

Allura nods. "Of course."

"It's about Lance. We may have had a breakthrough."

That seems to get both Allura and Coran's attention. "A breakthrough?" Allura asks. "What sort of breakthrough?"

"Zheerun thinks she's found a way to sever the bond between Karala and Lance."

"Zheerun does, does she?"

The whole team turns to look at Coran, his face even sharper than usual. "Is there a problem, Coran?" Shiro asks.

"Well I wouldn't have said anything," Coran begins, "but since you asked… I'm not sure we should be taking advice from a _Galra_ of all people. To be honest, I don't even know why we're keeping the two of them on the ship."

Keith tenses up at that. "I thought I made that clear when we brought them aboard. Karala and Lance can't be more than about 200 feet apart or Lance goes into convulsions. He's no good to us like that, not to mention that, frankly, I'd rather he be whole and alive than in pain."

"And what evidence do you have to support that claim?" Coran asks, a deep-seated anger on his face. "Did the _Galra_ tell you that?"

"No." Keith's hands clench into fists. "He started convulsing in my arms when I tried to carry him off the cruiser. I figured that was more than enough evidence."

Coran stills, scrutinizing Keith. "You're certain?"

"I'm certain," Keith spits back, anger simmering under his skin.

Coran slumps. "I see. Well then, I suppose it makes sense to believe them."

Keith bites his tongue to keep from saying something that might set Coran off again. The last thing he wants is to piss off one of the people they'll need if they're ever going to get Lance back.

"You said one of them had a plan?" Coran asks, turning to Pidge.

"Yes," they answer, pulling out a handheld computer. "Zheerun said something about a meditative trance in conjunction with the traditional soul bond ritual?"

Coran frowns. "With the paladin mind meld technology," he says, looking thoughtful. "I suppose it's possible. Dangerous, but possible. Bonds aren't meant to be broken."

Pidge nods. "She said that's especially true of forced bonds."

Coran's eyes go wide. "It was a forced bond? With Lance in the state he's in?" He lets out a low whistle. "I'm impressed. Their priest must have been quite skilled."

"Priestess," Pidge corrects. "Zheerun performed the ceremony."

Coran blinks. "We have the priestess that performed the bonding? Then we have a much better chance of successfully reversing it."

"But still not a good chance."

Pidge and Coran both turn to look at Keith. He's long since learned to read between the lines of their excited babble, and the tone of Coran's voice had made it clear that this would still be a losing battle. Coran glances over at Pidge, who shrugs, offering nothing up. Coran looks back at Keith, his face apologetic. "No. Still not a good chance."

Keith nods. "I'm just… I'm gonna go for a walk. Let me know when you need me."

As Keith turns on his heel, Hunk follows him out. "Keith? You okay, man?"

Keith snorts. "I got my boyfriend back but he doesn't seem to remember a damn thing about me, and now the one chance I have at getting him back might end up killing him."

"And maybe you too," Hunk says, ever the tactician.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yes, and maybe me too. It just…. It doesn't feel worth it," he says with a sigh. "I just got him back, Hunk, and now I'm supposed to risk losing him again?"

Hunk frowns. "But you said it yourself, he's not the Lance we remember. He's not the Lance we need."

"No," Keith concedes, "but at least he's alive."

Hunk doesn't seem to have a response for that.

\----

It's been almost a week since Shiro broke the news that there was a way to save Lance from the bond, four days since they brought the possibility up to Allura and Coran. Despite the time he's had, Keith still can't quite wrap his mind around the potential cost. Would he rather have Lance like this, utterly battered but still alive, or would he rather risk losing him completely? The answer should be obvious--he doesn't want to lose Lance--but Keith also knows that he has a responsibility to do right by what Lance would want. Because one thing has been clear since they got Lance back: this isn't all of Lance; it's a shell of the man that Keith fell in love with. But every now and again, he'll do something so like the man Keith remembers that it stops Keith's breath in his chest. It's small things--a gesture, a glance, a touch--but it's enough that it makes Keith wonder if, somewhere in there, Lance still exists. Still a little battered, maybe, but _whole_ , and that's the one thing that Keith has always wanted. And if there's one thing that he's certain of, it's that the man he fell in love with would take any risk to bring Keith back to him, and he would want Keith to do the same for him.

He brings Lance's bayard down with him to the cells that day, and offers it to Lance. Lance takes it, turning it from side to side. The blaster that Keith remembers doesn't emerge, and neither does the sword he's become accustomed to. He watches Lance toy with the item for a while, a mild sort of interest in his face, until he offers it back to Keith. Keith takes it back, hooking it to his belt and trying to find the words to ask the question he wants to ask.

"Lance…." He settles down on the bed beside Lance, his fingers going to Lance's bangs automatically. Lance leans into them, a small smile on his face. "Lance, do you want us to break your bond with Karala?"

Lance blinks slowly as Karala and Zheerun both suck in sharp breaths.

Keith doesn't turn to look at either of them. He only has eyes for Lance. "I know how much she means to you. I've seen it in the way you look at her. And if you're content with that, I can learn to be content too. But if I know you, this isn't going to be enough for you. You're going to need something more. If there's even a sliver of the man I fell in love with still inside that thick skull of yours, I know what you'd want. But I don't want to risk your life if there's nothing left of you in there. Please, Lance, I need a sign. Give me a sign that you're still in there. Something. _Anything_."

Lance blinks again, but nothing else on his face so much as shifts.

Keith closes his eyes and leans forward, pressing his forehead to Lance's shoulder. His hand slips down to rest on his shoulders and his fingers tighten in Lance's shirt.

It might be the most damning thing that Lance could have done.

\----

"I'm not doing it."

Shiro nods at Keith. "It's your call, Keith. We won't ask you to do anything you don't want to do."

Keith shakes his head. "It's not like that. I'd do it in a heartbeat if I knew for a fact we could get Lance back, but I don't know if he's still in there anymore. I'd rather have him like this than not have him at all."

Shiro frowns. "That doesn't sound like you, Keith. You were the one that was so sure we would be able to find him and save him."

Keith nods. "I had to believe that, Shiro. I had to think that we could save him. But now…. Now I can't go on believing that. I just-- I don't know if he's still in there or if it's just wishful thinking on my part. The last thing I want is to try to bring him back just to find that he's not in there anymore. I think that would be the absolute last straw. I can't do that, Shiro. I'm not strong enough. Not to mention, if Lance isn't on board, I don't think I can do it."

"What makes you think Lance isn't on board?"

"I asked him."

Shiro's eyes go wide. "He spoke to you?"

"No. That was the problem. If he can't tell me he wants this, how can I possibly make the decision for him?"

Shiro stares at him for a long time. Then, slowly, he nods. "If that's the way you feel."

Keith stands up a little straighter. "It is."

Shiro nods again. "Alright. Then let's go tell Zheerun so she can go back to working on another method."

\----

"But Child agreed to the ritual!" Zheerun says, fuming.

Keith blinks. "No, he didn't. I just asked him yesterday."

"Yeah, but you didn't _explain_ it! Karala talked to him afterward and explained it to him, and he agreed!"

Shiro turns to Karala, who has Lance in her arms. She looks up at him, looking a little sheepish. "Karala?"

"He did agree," she says quietly. "It's not that he wants to break the bond so much as that he wants a bond with Keith. He thinks that would be better."

Keith startles. "He what?"

"He likes you, Keith." Lance pokes Karala in the side, and she glances down at him, rolling her eyes affectionately. "He loves you. And he wants to see you happy. He could tell that this would make you happy, so he wants it."

Keith narrows his eyes. "You're just saying that to convince me to go through with this."

Karala blinks, looking taken aback, but it's Zheerun that replies. "Like hell she is! She has nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing this!"

"Except she gets you," Keith shoots back, his own voice just as sharp as Zheerun's. "She gets you back and you get her back. Isn't that the whole reason you defected to our ship in the first place? I can't imagine you'd let a chance like this pass you by if you thought it was your best way out."

Zheerun's face is practically glowing with rage. "You think I would stoop so low as to lie about Karala's bondmate just to get you to agree?"

"I don't know what you'd be willing to do. But I can't rule anything out."

Zheerun points sharply at the staircase that leads back upstairs. "Get out. I may be a prisoner on your ship, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to you defame my character. Get out. We'll find another way."

Keith turns on his heel, not waiting to see if Shiro is going to follow him. He's waited this long for Lance. He won't risk losing him now.

\----

No one brings up the potential solution to the soulbond issue again. Pidge and Allura go on working with Zheerun and Karala to try to help Lance get back to functioning form, and everyone skirts around any discussion of Lance's condition when Keith's in the room. It irks Keith a little bit that they all let it drop so easily, but he supposes he's a bit grateful too. He's not sure he could stay strong in the face of Hunk's disappointment or Pidge's confusion.

For a few days, at least, Keith lets the issue rest, not worrying about trying to get Lance back to the man he used to be, and learns to content himself with this new version of the man he loves. It works for a while, until, one day, it doesn't.

He's been sitting with Lance for a solid thirty minutes, speaking quietly about promises they'd made to each other that Lance can't seem to remember any more, his voice rising and falling as he elaborates on anything and everything he can think of. It's in the middle of a sentence that Lance reaches out to Keith, pressing one hand firmly to the center of Keith's chest. Keith blinks, his voice cutting off automatically. He glances down at the hand, trying to understand what Lance is doing, which is why he almost misses what Lance does next.

"Keith," he says, clear as anything.

Keith looks up, shock filling him down to his marrow. "What… what did you say?"

Lance just smiles, clearly proud of himself. "Keith," he says again. Then his brow furrows and he bites his lip. He sits back, putting his hand on his own chest while his mouth works. Then he looks up at Keith again and, with a wide smile, says, "Love Keith."

Keith about faints right there. Even Karala and Zheerun sit up at this second declaration, both sets of eyes on Keith and Lance. "Lance, I…"

Lance slaps his hand against his chest twice, clearly trying to get a message across as he speaks again. "Love Keith."

Keith feels the beginnings of tears at the corners of his eyes, and he tries to blink them back. "Yeah?"

Lance just smiles even brighter. "Love Keith," he says a third time, before reaching out for Keith's hand and pressing it against his chest. Keith glances down at where his fingers are splayed over Lance's skin, his whole body lighting up at the slight contact. "Keith love?"

Keith blinks up at Lance, at the open question in his eyes, and knows his answer. "Yes. Yes, Lance, I love you."

Lance bites his lip, letting go of Keith's hand and looking down and away. Keith knows that look, knows Lance is ashamed of something, but at first he can't put his finger on what.

Then he realizes the words he spoke, and he understands what he did. He reaches out, cupping Lance's face in his hands and turning him back toward him. "And Child too," he says, voice urgent and sure. "I love Child too."

Lance gives him a cautious smile. "Keith love?" he asks quietly, as though making sure.

Keith pulls Lance close to him, pressing a fierce, desperate kiss to the center of his forehead. "Yes. Both of you. With all my heart."

Lance smiles back, and suddenly Keith knows he can't back down any longer. This is all he'll have of Lance if he doesn't take a leap of faith, and when has their relationship been anything _but_ a leap of faith?

He presses another desperate kiss to Lance's forehead and then pulls back, searching his eyes. "I'm gonna ask you again, and I need to know for sure this time. The bond with Karala. Do you want to sever it?"

Lance meets Keith's eyes head on. Then, slowly, he nods once. It's all the confirmation Keith needs.

\----

Keith waits until everyone's done with dinner that night before he brings it up.

"I, uh." He swallows, the carefully planned words disappearing and leaving him floundering as everyone looks at him. "I thought you guys should know… Lance, he, uh." The whole room perks up at Lance's name. "He spoke to me today."

Allura's eyes go wide, and Pidge looks absolutely floored. "He… he what?" Pidge asks, sounding breathless.

"He spoke to me. It wasn't much, just my name, really, but I… well, I thought you guys should know."

The whole room stares at him, all in varying degrees of shock at Keith's news. It's almost enough to have him holding back his last piece of information, but the news that Lance might be verbal again isn't really why he'd brought it up. So Keith takes a deep breath and sits up a little straighter. "He spoke to me, and… well, when I asked him again about the ritual, he seemed to understand, and he seemed to be on board."

Coran frowns. "Can we be sure the Galra didn't just convince him to pretend to agree?"

Keith looks over at Coran. "You didn't see Zheerun when I accused her of the same thing. She looked like she was about ready to rip my head off. No, I think this really was Lance. Or, at least, it was the part of him that's still there. Whatever-- _Who_ ever that is, they're willing to try to break the bond, and that's good enough for me." Keith looks around at the rest of the team, meeting each of their eyes meaningfully. "But this isn't my decision alone. We all know the cost, and if the rest of you aren't on board, I won't push the issue."

After a long moment of silence, Pidge pushes their glasses up their nose and speaks. "I just want to go back to taking down as many Galra as we can. Whatever it takes. We can't do that without Lance, and if this is our best shot at getting him back, I say we go for it."

Allura nods. "We have indeed been unable to find anyone suitable to bond with the Blue Lion for over two years now. We need Lance to be successful against the Galra, and this seems to be the quickest way to bring him back to us. I am in agreement."

Hunk sits up a little straighter at Pidge and Allura's words, nodding slowly. When Keith looks over at him, he shrugs. "I just want my best friend back." Keith smiles at Hunk, grateful for his easy acceptance.

Coran sniffs, crossing his arms. "Look, you won't see me dancing in the halls, but if this is what the team wants, I will support it."

Keith looks over at Shiro, who's been conspicuously quiet. Keith swallows, suddenly nervous that Shiro is going to shut them down. "Shiro?" he asks softly.

Shiro sighs, rubbing a hand over his face before meeting Keith's gaze. "I saw it as well as the rest of you did. They haven't lied to us yet, and it seems clear from everything Zheerun and Allura have said that Lance was forced into a bond with Karala. That bond only started breaking down after he started talking to Keith. If anyone has enough of a bond with Lance to save him and help him start recovering, it's you, Keith." Shiro sighs again, still looking worried, but hopeful at the same time. "If you're up for it, I think we should go for it."

Keith feels the relief bloom bright and certain in his chest. "I'm up for it, Shiro. Thank you," he adds, meeting everyone's eyes in turn. "Thank you for being patient with me."

Allura nods. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will support you and Lance no matter what. Whatever you two decide to do, we're on your side."

Keith can't find the words to express his gratitude for that support. He just nods, and hopes it says enough.

\----

It's easier said than done, though. With Zheerun needing to bond with Karala, she can't perform the ceremony herself, which is an added layer of complication no one but Zheerun had thought of. But Hunk is more than willing to learn, and he takes the next two weeks training with Zheerun in how to perform the bonding ritual.

Pidge sulks when Zheerun had insisted Hunk be the one to perform the ritual. "I wanted to learn!" they insist, sounding indignant, but Zheerun just narrows her eyes at Pidge.

"And you are welcome to learn as well, should you so desire. But you have made no secret of your distaste for my people, and I will not have you botching the ritual because of it."

That silences Pidge, who looks a little surprised, but not at all insulted. "Got it," they say, voice soft as they settle down to listen as Zheerun explains the ritual to Hunk.

Keith doesn't listen. He just sits with Lance, memorizing every inch of his face in case this goes south. He's already lost Lance once; if he has to lose him again, Keith wants to remember everything about him.

Lance is mostly indulgent of Keith's attentions, but he gets distracted periodically, still so childlike in his wonder of everything around him. It's strange and a little uncomfortable, but it's still Lance, and that, at the end of the day, is what matters.

It takes several cycles, but eventually Zheerun deems Hunk as ready as he'll ever be. She asks Keith to grab the medkit that they had smuggled off the Galra cruiser so many weeks ago, and everyone convenes on the training deck.

"You know you're going to need to take me up to the control room to check the settings," Zheerun says to Coran a little irritably.

Coran visibly bristles. "Of course I know that! I was just… making sure that you were ready."

Shiro crosses his arms and eyes Zheerun. "I'll be coming up with you, if you don't mind," he says, a challenge in his voice.

Zheerun rolls her eyes and waves him off. "Whatever makes you feel better, sugarpuff. Lead the way," she adds, gesturing at Coran, who takes them up to the control room.

Allura produces the meditative headsets, and Karala and Hunk help Lance get settled while Keith fusses with his own headset. He doesn't want to admit it, but now that they're actually going through with this, he's a little nervous. What if this goes badly? What if his bond with Lance isn't strong enough? What if Lance comes out of this wishing Keith hadn't bound them together? What if--

Pidge puts their hand on Keith's elbow, steadying him. "Keith," they say, voice low and easy. "Stop worrying. It's gonna be fine."

Keith swallows, pulling himself up a little taller. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. Of course it's gonna be fine."

Pidge smiles, slapping him lightly on the back before stepping back over to consult with Allura.

Keith looks over at Lance one more time, trying to get his bearings. He's been so sure about this for so long, and he supposes it's only natural to be a little nervous now that it's actually time to go through with it, but.

But.

Zheerun makes her way back down with Shiro and raises an eyebrow when she sees that Keith still doesn't have his headset on. It's enough to have him settling it over his hair and sitting down beside Lance. Lance smiles at him, reaching out to take Keith's hand in one of his own. His other hand is wrapped securely in Karala's, and Keith tries not to let that irritate him, clearing his mind and focusing only on Lance the way Zheerun had instructed him to. Zheerun sits down with her own headset on.

"Now remember," Zheerun says, looking pointedly at Keith as she takes Karala's hand, "the headsets are just to amplify the connection. The bond needs to come from within us if we're going to succeed, not from without. Got it?" Keith nods once, too nervous to mouth off. Zheerun seems to sense his nerves, and her face goes hard and steely. "Don't mess this up, flyboy," she says sharply.

"I won't."

Hunk clears his throat and looks over at Zheerun once, as though for confirmation. Zheerun nods, and Hunk kneels down in the center of the little semi-circle they've created, his hands hovering around Karala and Lance's joined hands. He hesitates, and Zheerun speaks again. "Just remember, Hunk. If your intention is for them to come through unharmed, everything will be fine."

Hunk nods, closes his eyes, and starts to chant.

Keith doesn't feel anything through the first ten minutes of chanting; that's all for the breaking of the first bond. But the second Hunk turns away from Karala and toward him, Hunk's hands pausing on either side of where Keith's and Lance's hands are joined, Keith feels the electricity snap him to attention. It crackles under his skin and lights up every cell in his body, and for the first time in years, he feels like he could be _whole_ again. The electricity snaps through him, red and blue and bright, and then something cool rushes through his veins, blue water replacing red blood and it's Lance--it's _Lance_ \--and they're closer than they've ever been before, closer than they'll ever be again and Keith can hardly breathe through the ache of feeling complete again. He feels like he's gasping for breath, but his body doesn't seem to respond, doesn't suck in the mouthfuls of air he needs. There's pressure in his ears and a dragging sensation behind his sternum and he feels like he's going to be ripped into a thousand tiny pieces but if he just holds on--

In an instant, every bit of sensation disappears at once. Caught by surprise, Keith drops to his knees, gasping for breath.

Wait. His knees? Wasn't he sitting just a minute ago?

Keith's eyes snap open, instantly taking stock of his surroundings. He's… on a Galra cruiser? What? He reaches for his hip, ready to grab his bayard, but his fingers come to rest against rough fabric instead of the smooth material of his battlesuit. His nerves kick up another notch, and when he hears the telltale sound of guards rounding a nearby corner, he gets to his feet and scrambles into a little alcove, trying to keep his breathing quiet enough so as not to draw attention to himself.

The Galra pass by without noticing him, but there's something off about them that Keith can't put his finger on. He pokes his head out around the corner, watching their retreating backs. It takes him a moment to put his finger on it, but when he does it's easy to spot the difference.

These Galra are noticeably taller than average. Broader too, though that's less obvious. They're just bigger in general, as though magnified by a child's fear. The same fear that's rising up his chest to slowly force the breath from his lungs and if he could just think, could just clear his mind and _think_ \--

Fear. A child's fear. No, not _a_ child, but Child. _Lance_. Is he--

With a sharp, sucking breath, Keith's eyes fly open and he finds himself seated in the middle of the training deck in the castle. He glances to his right, and Lance is sitting beside him, eyes wide and scared as he meets Keith's gaze head on, and suddenly Keith knows.

That wasn't a Galra cruiser.

That was Lance's _mind_.

Keith takes one look at where Zheerun is standing in front of him, nervousness on her face and her lower lip caught between her teeth, and he gets immediately to his feet, dragging Lance to his feet as well. Keith snatches the headset from his head and all but throws it at Allura. He's a bit more gentle removing Lance's, but the second it's in Hunk's hands, Keith grabs Lance's hand again and drags him from the room.

He doesn't even stop to ask if the ritual was a success. It's crystal clear that it was. It's also crystal clear that getting Lance back to something resembling normal isn't going to be easy.

Distantly, he hears Pidge give a wolf whistle. He realizes what this must look like, but he doesn't have it in him to care. Right now, he just needs to know that Lance is still here, still in one piece, still _alive_. Everything else can wait.

\----

It doesn't occur to Keith that he doesn't have a plan about what he's going to do beyond getting Lance back to his quarters until he's slammed the door shut behind them. He can feel himself breathing heavily, the weight of revelation still clattering around in his chest. He drops Lance's hand and presses his palms to his face, choking down the tears that are begging to come. He still doesn't get it, doesn't know everything that happened to Lance, but at least now he _knows_ he doesn't get it. Before, when Shiro had talked about what he'd been through and how it compared to what Lance went through, Keith had thought he understood.

He hadn't.

Fingers brush over the back of Keith's hands, and he drops them automatically, looking up at Lance. There's a gentle sort of concern on Lance's features, and it snaps something in Keith's core. He reaches out, hands strong on either side of Lance's face, and hauls Lance in close, pressing a bruising kiss to his lips. Lance's lips part almost immediately, and Keith slips his tongue past them, years of experience winning out over years of going without. Keith kisses Lance like it's his last lifeline, and for a brief moment he wonders if it might be.

But then Lance reaches up, wrapping his hands around Keith's wrists, and Keith feels the tiny tremors in Lance's body. He draws back, sucking in deep breaths, and stares at Lance, wide-eyed and ashamed. "Lance," he starts, out of breath and desperate. "Lance, I--"

A warm sensation pulses in Keith's chest, and he recognizes it immediately as Lance. It takes a moment longer for him to realize exactly what Lance is trying to tell him. The sensation swells in his chest, and Keith leans forward, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears.

It's forgiveness.

"I'm sorry," Keith chokes out, even though he knows he doesn't have to. "Lance, I'm so--"

Lance reaches up, lifting Keith's head up. Keith meets his gaze, and Lance smiles gently, tilting Keith's head to the side and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Okay," Lance says quietly, and Keith feels the relief fill his veins. "Okay," Lance assures him again.

Keith shakes his head, laughing numbly. "It's not, but… but thank you. For saying that it is."

Lance just smiles, pressing another kiss to the corner of Keith's mouth. "Okay," he says for a third time, and, for a moment, Keith feels like it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have [Tina](http://idoltina.tumblr.com/) to thank for that extra little scene at the end; I contemplated cutting it out, but she told me it would be too mean. :P
> 
> [Come hang with me on tumblr!!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


	2. Tie Them in a Knot Like a Hangman’s Noose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you that are following along as I post may notice a pretty major retcon in this chapter for which I apologize; I didn't think of this particular issue until after Part 6 was published. Bonus points (and possibly a gift fic) to anybody that can figure out what it is. :P
> 
> A huge thank you to [Tina](http://idoltina.tumblr.com/) for the beta despite this not being her fandom. You are an angel and I love you so much! [Reblog from here!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/post/148116521683/fic-better-dig-two-part-ii) Fic and chapter titles from [Better Dig Two by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIdCo_QAz_E), series title from [If I Die Young by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM)

It takes Keith a solid two hours to feel strong enough to face the team again, and Lance is all patient smiles and gentle hands while Keith puts himself back together. Keith can't quite tell if Lance knows Keith was in his head, and Keith's happy to keep things that way for as long as he can. He's not sure he wants Lance to know what happened.

When they finally make it out of Keith's bedroom, Shiro's leaning against the wall, arms crossed and head bowed, as though he's been standing watch over them for a while. Keith bristles at the implication. "Were you spying on us?" he asks hotly.

Shiro looks up, looking a little startled at the words. "No," he answers honestly, "I was making sure that you two were okay after what happened during the ritual."

That stops Keith short. He hadn't thought anyone else had noticed. "And what exactly do you think happened during the ritual?"

"All I know is that you went into a trance and it took Zheerun a solid three minutes to break you out of it. That, and that she waited until Hunk bonded her and Karala to break you out of the trance instead of acting right away," he adds darkly, glaring down the hall that leads toward the cells.

"I don't understand."

Shiro sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. He looks every inch the tired leader, and for a moment, Keith considers letting the issue slide. But then Shiro's speaking and Keith's curiosity wins out. "When I saw you slump like that after Hunk finished bonding you and Lance, I assumed it was supposed to happen. It wasn't until he finished bonding Zheerun and Karala that I realized it wasn't supposed to happen at all. She jumped right into action, the way you only can when you know something's gone wrong."

"But she got me out of it."

"She did," Shiro concedes, "but she almost couldn't. They're a liability, both of them. We shouldn't have gone through with this."

Keith blinks, taken aback. "What? Why not?"

"We nearly lost both of you," Shiro says, and Keith can hear the strain in his voice. "That was way too big a risk, Keith, and I don't know how I let myself be talked into it."

Keith stares at Shiro, taken aback, but Lance slips past him, reaching out to touch Shiro's arm. He's looking up into Shiro's eyes, and Keith can feel Lance's certainty resonating in his own chest. The words spill over his lips unbidden, and they don't do Lance's conviction justice, but they're close enough. "But you didn't lose us, Shiro. We're both here, and we're both fine. We're safe. _Lance_ is safe. Isn't that all we've wanted?"

Shiro doesn't look up from Lance's features. He seems to understand it isn't just Keith's words he's hearing, but Lance's too. "It was my job to keep you safe, Lance. It was my job, and I failed."

"But you found me, Shiro." The words don't feel strange in Keith's mouth, but he knows they aren't his. "You found me and you saved me. That's all that matters now."

Shiro chokes back a sob. Lance reaches up, his arms winding around Shiro's shoulders, holding him tightly. "Okay," Lance says softly, and Shiro actually does start crying then, reaching out to wrap his arms around Lance's back, holding him close. Keith can see the strain in Shiro's arms, and wonders if he feels that same sensation of being ripped in half. Of being torn between wanting to crush Lance so that he can't ever escape and knowing that that would never let Lance be happy the way he deserves. "Okay."

“I’m sorry, Lance,” Shiro chokes out, voice soft and desperate. “I’m so sorry.”

Keith bites his lip and slips past them down the hall. He may be bound to Lance now, but that doesn't mean Lance doesn't get to have his own space too. This is Lance and Shiro's moment, and Keith needs to let them have it.

He slumps back against the wall around the corner, actively ignoring the space in his chest that Lance now fills. Or, well, that Child fills. It doesn't quite feel like Lance yet, but it's definitely close. Not all the way there, but close.

He massages his chest idly, not sure if he's trying to get used to the sensation or get rid of it. After a moment, Lance and Shiro round the corner. Lance is all smiles, but Shiro still looks visibly shaken, though better than before. Keith straightens. "Where's Zheerun now?" he asks.

"Back down in the cells," Shiro says, looking somewhere between curious and confused. "Why?"

"I have some questions for her."

Shiro nods. "Then let's go see her."

\----

Lance brightens when he sees Karala, rushing to her side when Keith opens the cell. Karala looks tired, but she smiles at Lance, reaching out to take his hands.

Keith doesn't pay any attention to them. His attention is entirely focused on Zheerun.

"What happened?"

"He pulled you into a mind walk."

"Explain."

Zheerun sighs, rubbing a hand over her face. "A mind walk is only possible in a Level Five bond or higher. It can happen when one member of the pair is distressed or in danger, or with support from a trained Priest."

"None of which should have been the case three hours ago," Keith says sharply.

"I know," Zheerun says, looking worried. "That's why I can't explain what happened. Why I didn't do anything right away. I had to be sure--"

"Bullshit," Shiro snaps, and both Keith and Zheerun look over at him. "You didn't do anything because you didn't want to risk something happening to Karala if Hunk didn't seal the bond right away."

Zheerun bites her lip but doesn't dispute the accusation.

"Alright," Keith says, looking back over to her, "so you don't know why it happened. What _do_ you know?"

"I know that the two of you are still vulnerable to additional mind walks if we can't figure out why it happened. Spontaneous mind walks aren't something to mess around with. We need to figure out why it happened and figure it out fast."

Keith nods. "I may have an idea about that." Both Zheerun and Shiro perk up at that, eyes bright and sharp on Keith. "Lance's mind… when I was inside it, I could tell it was trying to guard something. I don't know what, but there was something it was trying to protect. I think if I can go back in there--"

"No."

Keith blinks at the finality in Shiro's voice. "What?"

"You're not doing that again," Shiro says sharply, and Keith blinks again.

"Why not?"

"You didn't see what happened, Keith. You were slumped over, and at first you were twitching, but then you just… stopped moving. I swear, for a second I thought we'd lost you. I'm not letting you go through that again."

"It sounds like it may not be up to you, Shiro," Keith says, gesturing to Zheerun. "If it could happen again, I'm a liability to the team. _We're_ a liability. I need to figure out why it happened and I need to figure it out soon so that it doesn't happen again."

Shiro crosses his arms, his face turned away. Keith looks back at Zheerun, who nods at him. "You're not wrong about that. There's a definite chance of another unintentional mind walk. If we want to prevent that, you're going to have to go on another mind walk in a controlled setting. If you're right, and Child's mind is trying to protect something, that something may be the only way to protect you from another unplanned mind walk."

Keith nods, turning toward Lance and Karala. Lance is frowning, and it's only now that Keith has tuned back into the place in his chest where Child resides that he notices the confusion rolling off of Child in waves. Keith crosses quickly to Child's side, taking one of his hands. "Child?" he asks softly.

Child turns to him, his eyes bright and confused. It takes a moment, but Keith identifies the source of the confusion.

"Oh," he says softly, Child's sorrow and pain lancing through him as they both make the connection. "Oh, Child, I… I'm so sorry."

A single thought pulses in Keith's mind, wordless, but clear.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, the feeling of the name Lance has given Karala slicing through him like a knife. "No," he affirms, voice soft. "No more Partner."

Child pitches forward, burying his face in Karala's shoulder and letting loose an almighty wail. Keith shoves the heels of his hands over his eyes, the pain bouncing back and forth between him and Child and back again, Keith's feelings of rejection mixing with Child's confusion and it hurts--it _hurts_ \--and Keith can hardly breathe through the pain.

Shiro hauls him to his feet and shakes him, startling Keith out of his stupor. "Keith, you've gotta calm down," he says urgently. "Lance doesn't understand what's going on, but you do, and you have to make him understand before you both slip into another mind walk."

Keith blinks. "What?"

"Look, I don't get it any more than you do, but Zheerun--"

That snaps Keith back into reality. "Oh," he says, comprehension dawning. "Oh." Then he turns to Child, placing a hand on his shoulder. Child just curls up tighter against Karala. Keith reaches for the space in his chest, still so strange, and speaks to it instead. _You don't have Partner anymore, that's true. But you have me. You have me, Child._

Child sits up, his eyes bright with tears. The question pulses through the bond, a sensation of _together_ and _forever_ and _home_ , and Keith wants to fall headfirst into the feeling. He forces himself to hold it together, though, nodding a little and reaching out for Child.

_Forever._

Child buries himself in Keith's arms, his face pressed against his neck, and Keith lets himself believe for a second that things are going to be okay.

As he holds Child, Keith remembers the one last lingering doubt that he’d had. “The separation,” he says, looking up at Zheerun. “The way that Karala and Lance couldn’t be apart. Is that standard for a bond?”

“It is for a forced bond, but not for a traditional bond. You two shouldn’t have the same concern. There may be some… discomfort with excessive distance, and I wouldn’t recommend being on opposite sides of a wormhole if you can help it, but you should both be fine if an issue arises that requires your attention as a paladin.”

Keith isn’t sure whether he’s relieved or disappointed. “Good,” he says with a nod, certain the tone in his voice match the word. “That’s good.”

\----

As the cycle ticks over toward rest, Keith takes Lance to the room that has been virtually untouched in two years. Lance blinks back and forth between the door to what used to be his room and the door to Keith's room. He looks up at Keith, confusion flooding the bond.

"It's your room," Keith says, feeling a little wrongfooted. "Just in case--"

Child launches himself at Keith, arms wrapped around his waist. Keith feels a laugh punched out of him at the contact, and he smiles down at Child.

"You don't have to," he says gently. "It's just… I thought you might like to."

Child draws back, his eyes on the door, curiosity flooding them. He raises his hand to the locking mechanism, looking delighted when the door slides open immediately. He smiles up at Keith, and Keith feels affection flood his chest. Child turns to face him and his smile widens.

"And… just… while you're sleeping…" Keith stumbles over the words, trying to figure out how to say what he wants to, and it takes all his self restraint not to tangle his fingers in the chain at his throat and remind himself why he’s doing this. He swallows, looking up at Child. "I know the mind walk was an accident, and I know how hard you're protecting yourself, but I just want you to know that if you're willing to let me in, I want to help you. If you want to try, I want to try with you."

Child tilts his head to the side, looking confused. Then something clicks, and he straightens, looking somewhere between surprised and angry.

"You don't have to," Keith says quickly, hands fluttering nervously, "I just. Well. Offer's on the table."

As Keith starts to back away toward his own room, Child reaches out, one hand grasping him by the arm. Keith freezes, meeting Child's eyes head-on. The question eases its way through the bond, gentle and seductive, and Keith reaches for it with cautious hands.

"Yes," he answers once the question clarifies itself in his mind. "Yes, I want to."

Child draws his hand back, nodding once, and Keith knows what it means even before the certainty crystallizes in his chest. Child is agreeing to let Keith go on another mind walk.

Keith can't help but dart back in, leaning up to press a kiss to Child's temple. "Thank you," he breathes out, aching with gratitude. "Thank you."

Child just smiles, gently shoving Keith off as he slips into his room.

Keith can barely sleep that night, excitement humming in his veins. It won't be easy to save Lance, to find out what he's hiding in the depths of his mind, but Keith knows it will be worth it.

It has to be.

\----

The team is less excited about the plan than Keith thought they'd be.

"You want to do _what_?" Pidge asks, sounding scandalized.

"I want to go on another mind walk, the way I did when Lance and I bonded yesterday."

"Keith," Pidge says with a shake of their head, "you didn't see it. The way you slumped over, it was like…"

"We thought you might have been seriously hurt," Shiro says, reiterating his words from yesterday. "I wouldn't be much of a leader if I let you do that again."

"Exactly," Pidge says. "Not to mention that the strain on your mind could be catastrophic. Isn't that right, Allura?"

Allura blinks up at Pidge, looking surprised. "In a mind walk? No. No, there wouldn't be much strain on his mind at all, not now that they're bonded, and especially not if we amplified the mental output with the headsets."

"You see, there’s nothing to worry about,” Keith says, grinning across the table. “Come on, Pidge, you said it yourself--we need to form Voltron if we're going to be able to stop Zarkon, and we know the only way that's happening is if we get Lance back."

"And going on a mind walk is going to somehow magically get him back?" Pidge snaps back.

Keith opens his mouth, a retort on his lips, but he stops short, words temporarily failing him. He looks over at where Child is poking at his food, either oblivious to their argument, or else just ignoring it. Keith looks back over at Pidge, resolve coalescing in his chest. "Look, Pidge, you weren't there. You didn't see it. His mind is a damn fortress right now. He's protecting something. You know as well as I do that the person driving his body right now isn't the Lance that we all remember, so what if… what if what he's protecting is the part of Lance we need to be a team again?"

That seems to stop Pidge short. They blink a few times, hard and fast, looking between Keith and Child. "Wait, so you're saying… you think… you think some part of Lance is _still in there_?"

Keith shrugs. "It's the most logical conclusion. What else would he be protecting?"

"Huh." Pidge sits back, looking thoughtful.

Shiro still doesn't look convinced. "Look, Keith, I know you miss him. We all do. But we can work with what we have now. We can find a way for him to help us the way he is now that he’s bound to you instead of Karala. We can train him up, get him back in fighting shape. We can make this work."

"Maybe," Keith allows. "Maybe not. Do you really want to put all our eggs in that basket when there's a chance that it won't work?"

"What makes you think your plan will work any better?"

"I'm not saying it's going to work for sure, or even that it will work better. I'm just saying we need to explore all the options available to us. We can't rely on any one plan. We need to cultivate all our options and then see what works."

Shiro looks like he's about to say something else when Allura cuts him off. "You've been quiet, Hunk," she says. "What do you think?"

Hunk blinks, looking away from where he'd been staring at Lance. "I think… I think that I miss Lance. Sometimes I think I miss him more now than I did before we got him back. I just…." He swallows, his whole face looking pained as he glances back over at Lance. "I know things won't be like they used to be. I know that. But I just… I want my best friend back," he whispers, looking strangely small where he sits, curled in on himself. He looks up, meeting Keith's eyes head on. "I want Lance back."

The quiet honesty in Hunk's words seem to silence Shiro's protests. Shiro stares at Hunk for a long time before he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and looking back over at Keith. "Alright, Keith. We'll do it your way."

\----

It takes some convincing to get Shiro to let Zheerun out of the cell and back up to the training deck. He wants her to train Hunk the way she did for the bonding ritual, but Keith's too impatient.

"Come on, Shiro. Just let her help."

"She didn't do a very good job of helping last time."

"She was protecting the woman she loves. I'd have done the same thing."

Shiro frowns at him, looking skeptical, but he seems to be tired of arguing with Keith about this. He shrugs. "Fine. But I'm coming with you."

Keith nods. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Zheerun is surprisingly amenable to the situation, though whether that's because she's allowed to leave the cell and stretch her legs or because of some lingering attachment Karala feels for Child, Keith isn't sure. In the end, it doesn't matter. She follows Keith up to the training deck while Shiro brings up the rear, and the three of them get set up for the mind walk. Hunk brings Lance in shortly after, and though Lance looks a little nervous, it doesn't take much to get him on board. He reaches out, taking Keith's hands without even being instructed by Zheerun, and Keith feels the tug of Lance's mind through the headset. He chances a glance up at Zheerun, who briefly looks surprised. She shakes it off, though, and nods at Keith.

"You can subdue the guards, but I'd advise against killing them. Don't engage if you don't have to. See if you can find the center of the ship; whatever he's guarding should be there. And remember, I'm pulling you out if it looks like anything's going wrong. Questions?" Keith shakes his head, and Zheerun nods back at him. "Alright. Let's do it."

Keith only hears a few seconds of Zheerun's chanting before the same tugging sensation behind his sternum from yesterday starts up again, and a sudden pressure makes his ears pop. The difference is that this time it doesn't feel like he's going to be torn to pieces, and instead it just feels like he's being dragged underwater. He doesn't fight it, lets himself be pulled under, and soon enough the pressure disappears, and he drops to his knees in the Galra cruiser.

He has a split second to get his bearings before he hears a set of footsteps moving toward him. There's neither time to hide nor a place to do so, so Keith scrambles to his feet, rushing to a bend in the hallway and pressing his back against the wall. As the two Galra round the corner, he gets one in a chokehold, incapacitating him instantly, and levels a kick at the other's gut. As the first Galra scrabbles at Keith's arms, Keith tightens his hold, lashing out with another kick when the second Galra gets to her feet. After a few terrifyingly long moments, the Galra in his arms goes limp. The second Galra is already on her feet again, and Keith barely has time to dodge under the shot from her blaster and get behind her. He gives her the same treatment, using the chokehold to knock her out. He lowers her to the ground as well, wishing desperately that he had his full paladin gear on. But he knows that if he were in full uniform he'd be more likely to try to actually attack the Galra soldiers purely out of habit, and with Lance's mind as fragile as it is, they can't risk that.

Having successfully subdued the two attackers, Keith starts to make his way down the hallway, trying to get his bearings. But the ship doesn't seem to follow any sort of logic or planning, and the halls intersect at irregular intervals and awkward angles. He comes across at least two dozen more guards, and though he manages to avoid most of them, he does end up needing to subdue about eight of them. It isn't until a solid fifteen minutes later that he starts to get the feeling that he's going in circles. He's just about to try to signal Zheerun to pull him out when three Galra round the corner in front of him. He barely has time to duck under a shot that still manages to graze his shoulder before the tugging behind his sternum starts up again, and then he's sucking in huge gulps of air on the training deck floor.

He looks up at Zheerun, who looks exhausted, and Shiro, who looks concerned. Keith frowns. "Everything okay, guys?"

Shiro's concern melts into relief. "Yeah. Yeah, it should be."

Zheerun's lips purse. "You should have called sooner. I don't care how much paladin training you have, two hours is much too long for your first mind walk."

Keith blinks. "Two… two hours? I was only in there for like fifteen minutes."

Zheerun's frown darkens. "If time is moving differently in Child's mind, we may have more reason for concern than I thought."

Keith struggles to his feet, and the ache in his legs seems to confirm Zheerun's assertion that it had been longer than fifteen minutes. "What sort of concern?"

Zheerun waves off Keith's agitation. "Not for his physical safety or well-being. But his mind may be more damaged than I had anticipated."

"Can we still save him?" Shiro asks.

"Yes. But it will take time. And, at some point, he will need to decide that he wants to be helped."

All three of them look down at Lance. Lance tips his head up to look back at them, tilting it to the side as though in question.

"He will," Keith asserts, a tense sort of certainty growing in his chest. "He has to."

\----

One week and four unsuccessful mind walks later, Keith's starting to get frustrated. They've started training Child in hand-to-hand combat just to see what he's capable of, and he's learning with surprising swiftness. He's nowhere near where he was before Lance was captured, but it's a start, and Keith is actually starting to believe that they may not need to find out what he's guarding in his mind in order to get Voltron back online.

That doesn't mean he doesn't still want to know.

Shiro finds him alone on the training deck about an hour after the latest failed mind walk, locked in a level five hand-to-hand training sequence. Keith can feel his leader's eyes on the back of his neck, but he does his best to ignore it, fighting until he's almost breathless with it.

"End training sequence," Shiro calls as Keith fails to dodge a kick to his ribs.

Keith drops to his knees, his breathing a little labored. Shiro crosses the room, reaching out to take Keith's hand. "I was doing just fine," Keith says with a grunt as Shiro hauls him to his feet.

Shiro snorts. "Yeah, sure you were."

"I was," Keith insists, and Shiro laughs indulgently.

"Fine. Then let's see if you can keep up with me."

Keith grits his teeth, settling into his stance. Shiro looks surprised that Keith took him up on the offer, but settles down as well, eyeing Keith thoughtfully. When it becomes clear that Shiro isn't going to attack first, Keith leaps into action, the movements coming as easily as breathing. He takes the offensive, and Shiro lets him keep it for a while, which really only serves to piss Keith off. "I don't need to be _coddled_ ," he snarls, throwing a punch that Shiro catches easily.

"Alright," Shiro says, before taking Keith down in three precise moves.

It isn't until he's staring up at Shiro, back on the floor and breath having in his chest, that Keith realizes that maybe he did need to be coddled.

Shiro gives him a wry smile, helping him to his feet. "Look. I know you're upset, and I can tell that you're frustrated. This has been hard on you. But you're not doing him an ounce of good working yourself into the ground like this."

Keith bites his lip, nodding.

"I'm not saying you can't train, I'm just… I'm saying you need to take it easy every once in awhile too." He steps to the side, and Keith catches sight of Child standing in the doorway of the training deck, fidgeting a little. "He worries too."

Keith doesn't say anything. He just grasps Shiro tightly by the arm and nods, trying to convey his gratitude without words, unable to force them past his lips. Then he makes his way over to Child, turning Shiro’s words over in his head. Shiro really does have a point. Keith can't help Lance if he's too wrapped up in his own mind to really seek out the truth in Lance's, and if he wants to reach Lance the way he’s been trying to, he’s going to have to let go of everything else for awhile. His own issues can wait. For the moment, he needs to focus on Lance.

\----

As he rises from a crouch and glances around to get his bearings on his next mind walk, Keith takes the time to really _look_ at his surroundings. Before, he'd always been more focused on trying to find whatever it is that Lance is hiding, but rushing in without looking or thinking hasn't served him very well so far. So he takes the time now that he never has before to look at the space around him and see what it tells him. At first he's sure there's nothing immediately revealing about the space, and he sets off on his usual somewhat aimless wandering, but when he turns a corner, something about the walls catches his eye.

Keith presses a hand against the metal of the cruiser, wondering if he's making this up. He glances over his shoulder, squinting at the walls back the way he came. He contemplates backtracking, just to be sure, but-- no. No, there's no need.

The walls are a definitely different color here. More importantly, they're bluer here than they are back the way he came. Keith's certain that can only be a good thing--Lance is the blue paladin after all--and so he turns the corner, heading down blue hall eagerly.

He monitors the color of the walls as carefully as he can as he progresses, backtracking any time the walls start to shift toward magenta instead of the richer slate blue color that he's been following. The further he travels down each hallway tinged with blue, the more excited he gets. Because this is it; this is the clue he needed to get to whatever it is that Lance is hiding, and if he could just _get there_ \--

He turns a corner and comes up against a dead end, the wall that faces him a vivid, defiant blue that leaves his throat tight and his chest aching.

That… that can't be right. Lance is blue, blue is Lance, and if following the path marked by the blue walls isn't going to lead him to Lance, then what is?

Keith hears a Galra patrol down the hall he just came off of, startling him out of his reverie. He takes a brief moment to contemplate staying in Lance's mind a little longer, but he's already pushed farther than he really should have in order to follow this lead; he should probably take a break and try again later.

With a silent reach for Zheerun, Keith lets himself be dragged back out of Lance's mind and tries not to feel too disheartened. Just because this path didn't lead to Lance doesn't mean none of them will. He just… he has to keep trying.

He has to.

\----

It takes well over a week of wandering the blue-purple tinted halls of Lance's mind for Keith to start to lose hope again. Following the color patterns of Lance's mind has led him to a dead end every time, and he's starting to wonder if he's ever going to be able to help Lance like this, especially when half the time he isn't even here. He spends way too much time off fighting Galra soldiers in Red instead of here, walking the halls of Child's mind in an effort to find what may be left of Lance.

The only tiny ray of light in all of this is the fact that Allura and Shiro finally seem to be warming up to Zheerun and Karala. They've started asking Karala for advice about where to strike back at Zarkon and how best to work toward crippling the Empire while they wait for Lance to recover. Shiro had even relented and agreed to give the two Galra quarters outside of the cells, though they're in a closely monitored hall of the castle, and they still don't have as much privacy as they probably deserve. Still, it's better than before, and Keith can tell Zheerun's grateful.

But none of that feels like it means anything if Keith can't have Lance back. Without him, what's all of this even for?

Hunk's the one that finds Keith after the fifth time he's tried to follow the walls to Lance. Keith's lying back on one of the couches in the common room, holding his necklace aloft and staring up at the two rings dangling from their chain above him. He’s trying to see them for what they are--the memory of an unspoken desire--instead of what they feel like--a reminder of what a failure he feels like. Hunk doesn't say anything as he sits down beside him, letting Keith be the one to break the silence.

"I don't understand why he won't let me in," Keith finally mumbles, unable to look away from the rings to see the pity that must be in Hunk's eyes at his words.

"But he has," Hunk says, sounding surprised instead of pitying. Keith tilts his head back to look at Hunk, startled. "He's let you in almost every day since you two bonded, Keith, even though it's scaring the hell out of him."

That makes Keith actually sit all the way up, suddenly completely cued into this conversation. He hasn't noticed Lance feeling anything out of the ordinary, but-- "What are you talking about?"

"He paces," Hunk says, a patient look on his face. "He comes up to the kitchen after your sessions and he paces, just like he used to do at the Garrison when he was nervous about a sim or worried about a test. I can tell he's trying to keep it from you, but… he's worried about you. Maybe even more than just worried; if he's reverting to old habits, it's gotta be bad. I think you're scaring him, Keith, but I think he also knows how much this means to you, and that's why he's putting up with it."

Keith stares at Hunk. "How… how can you be so sure? He still isn't speaking to any of us, how can you--"

"Because I know him," Hunk says, as though it should be obvious. "You know him too. You just have to trust yourself, and that'll lead you to the right answer."

Keith snorts. "Trusting myself hasn't done a lick of good these last few mind walks. What's to say it'll help any more in the future?"

"Then trust us, Keith. If you can't trust yourself… trust _us_."

Keith looks away. Trusting the team is what's kept him safe for more than five years, but it somehow doesn't feel like enough anymore. "Yeah," he says, dully. "Yeah, I guess."

\----

The next time he goes on a mind walk, he follows his instincts as before, heading to the parts of the ship that are bluer than most. He notices idly that there are more and more walls tinged blue, more and more paths that lead him to dead ends and broken promises.

It's as he stands at one of these dead ends, trying to decide if it's time to call Zheerun for a bailout, that the unthinkable happens.

One of the Galra soldiers finds him.

Keith barely has time to turn and face his potential attacker before a shot connects with his abdomen, sending a shock of pain through him. The whole ship seems to wobble, and Keith only just manages to hold himself together enough to call out to Zheerun, who pulls him out instantly.

When Keith blinks his eyes open, it's to see Shiro holding Child's wrists in his hands while Child shrieks, fingers scrabbling at his headset.

"Dammit, Lance, stop!" Shiro's saying, desperation in his voice, "You have to wait until--"

"I've got him," Zheerun says sharply. "You can let Child go."

"You sure? Keith--"

"I'm back, Shiro," Keith cuts in, understanding Shiro's concern implicitly. "It's okay, you can let him take it off."

Shiro lets Lance's hands go, and Lance rips the headset from his head, flinging it to the ground while he clambers to his feet. He glares down at Keith, rage in every line of his face and body, before he storms off the training deck.

Keith sighs, putting his head in his hands.

"Keith?" Shiro asks, sounding worried. "Everything okay?"

"Not… not really, Shiro."

"What is it? What happened?"

Keith shakes his head. "I shouldn't… I can't…"

"Keith." Zheerun's voice is harder than Shiro's, and knowing in a way that twists Keith's stomach up in knots. "What happened?"

Keith looks up to meet Zheerun's eyes. They're hard and sharp, and Keith is pretty sure he's been made. Reluctantly, he lifts his shirt, knowing what's there without even looking. At Shiro's sharp intake of breath, he knows he's not wrong, but he can't help looking down to check.

There's a mottled bruise covering his abdomen, centered on the exact spot where the Galra shot connected.

Shiro's on his knees in an instant, fingers hovering centimeters away from the bruise. He looks up at Keith, clearly at a loss for words.

"One of the Galra in Lance's mind shot me," Keith says, voice low and nervous. "I could tell the second I was back in my body that… well…."

"What the quiznak?" Zheerun breathes out. She shoves Shiro out of the way and drops to her knees in front of Keith, her fingers on his skin as she pokes at his bruise. Keith winces, recoiling, but she just follows him, fingers mapping the edges of the bruise. "What the _quiznak_?" she says again, her voice sharper that time. Her fingers are shaking when she draws them back, settling down on her heels. "That… that shouldn't be possible…."

"What?" Shiro asks, zeroing in on Zheerun. "What shouldn't be possible?"

"Physical repercussions from a mind walk only happen in Level Seven bonds. There's no way… there's no _way_ you two are a Level Seven!"

Keith blinks. "What's a Level Seven?"

Zheerun shakes her head. "It's the highest documented level of soulbond," she says, sounding somewhere between pissed off and awed. "There have only been about three hundred documented cases in the last fifteen thousand years. They're very rare and very poorly understood." She shakes her head again. "There's just… there's no way…."

Keith looks over his shoulder toward where Lance had disappeared through the doors of the training deck. He's not really all that interested in the ramifications of the apparent strength of their bond. He's quite a bit more interested in how badly this is going to piss Lance off, and whether he might finally put his foot down and refuse to let Keith go on another mind walk. It's the last thing that Keith wants, but it might also be exactly what Lance needs.

\----

Under a self-imposed restriction from entering the kitchen in an attempt to pacify Lance, and too nervous about what Shiro will want to say about what happened on the training deck to approach him, Keith seeks out Pidge in their lab instead. Pidge rolls their eyes at Keith when he sheepishly knocks on the door but lets him in without complaint.

Keith hoists himself up on Pidge's work table, watching as they work. He only makes the mistake of reaching for something in absent curiosity once; Pidge whacks his hand away none-too-gently, and Keith doesn't try again.

Pidge waits a good half hour before they finally look up at Keith. "Look, if you're going to come into my lab and sigh like a lovesick schoolgirl, you might as well talk to me about what happened."

Keith winces. "That bad?"

"That bad," Pidge asserts, getting back to work on whatever it is they're working on.

Keith looks away, playing with the cuffs of his jacket while he tries to think about what to say. As he fiddles, he watches Pidge work, intrigued and astounded that they're managing to work so effectively in spite of what's going on around them.

"How are you handling this so well?" It's not what he meant to ask, but Keith doesn't take the words back once they're out there.

Pidge frowns, but doesn't look up. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're still doing the work. Still fighting the good fight, still tinkering, still… still _functioning_. I'm a damn trainwreck, to the point where I can barely breathe sometimes because I miss him so much, and you're just…. You're still keeping this whole place running. It's like it doesn't even affect you. How are you handling this so well?"

Pidge slams the tool they were working with down on the work table and glares up at Keith. "I'm not handling this any better than the rest of you, and I can tell you that it sure as hell is affecting me. He was my friend too. I miss him plenty. But I'm used to missing people."

Keith looks away, shame curling in his belly. "Right. Yeah, that makes sense."

Pidge sighs, turning back to their project. "I'm glad we got Matt and my dad out, really, I am. But I spent three years missing them, Keith. I know what it's like. I know how I cope. And just because it's how you've seen me operate for a good chunk of the time you've known me doesn't mean it's not a coping mechanism. We all have our ways of dealing with the hand we've been dealt. This,” they say, gesturing at the lab at large, “just happens to be mine."

Keith nods, still too ashamed to look back at Pidge. "Makes sense, I guess."

Pidge doesn't say anything for a moment. Then they nod, like they're accepting the apology that Keith didn't give. "I know you didn't come down here to insult my work habits. What's going on?"

"I can't… I can't figure out how to help Lance. I was so sure he was in there, but now… now I can't seem to find him."

"Well, where have you looked?"

"I told you his mind's set up like a Galra battleship, right?" Keith waits for Pidge's nod before continuing. "The walls aren't all purple. Some of them are blue. So I've been following the walls to find him. The thing is, every time I make it to the end of one of those blue hallways, it's a dead end. None of them seem to lead to Lance, and I can't figure out _why_."

"Maybe you're looking in the wrong place," Pidge muses, not looking up from their project.

Keith frowns down at them. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe you shouldn't be heading toward the blue. Maybe you should be heading away."

"But Lance is the blue paladin." Keith can hear the indignant confusion in his own voice. "Why would I walk _away_ from the blue?"

"Because maybe Lance didn't take solace in himself this time. Maybe he took it in something else. Some _one_ else."

Keith frowns. "I don't get it."

Pidge sighs, then turns to look at Keith. "Keith. Purple is made up of two colors. Blue and…?"

"Red," Keith says, rolling his eyes, "what's your point?"

"My _point_ ," Pidge says a little irritably, "is that maybe Lance didn't take solace in the blue paladin. Maybe he took solace in the red paladin. Maybe," Pidge says, turning away from Keith's stunned features, "he took solace in you."

\----

Child refuses to sit next to Keith at dinner that night. He won't meet Keith's eyes, and the space in Keith's chest that he's come to associate with Child is cold and empty. The whole room seems to be reacting to the tension, and conversation is stilted and awkward. Keith tries more than once to talk to Child, and when that doesn’t work, Keith tries to reach out through the bond, only for Child to slam his fists down on the table and storm out of the dining hall. Keith winces, electing to swiftly excuse himself after Lance and offering only a muttered apology in the way of an explanation.

Keith chases Lance through the castle, but doesn't manage to catch up to him before he barricades himself in his room. Wrongfooted, Keith knocks on Lance's door, not sure if he’s expecting Child to answer. Then again, he realizes when Child refuses to come out for a solid thirty ticks, he's not above begging. "Please, Child, can't we at least talk about this?"

The anger and refusal that resonates down the bond is so achingly familiar that Keith isn't actually all that surprised at what comes out of his mouth next.

Frustrated, unthinking, Keith speaks not to Child, but to the man that he wishes was on the other side of the door. "Dammit, Lance, will you please just come out and _talk_ to me?"

To Keith's surprise, the frustrated cajoling is effective, and the door to Lance's room slides open. To Keith's even greater surprise, Child doesn't stand in the doorway glaring at him. Instead, he grabs Keith by the collar, walks straight out of his room, and slams Keith up against the wall opposite the doorway.

For a split second, all Keith can see is the determination in Child's eyes. The ferocity and certainty and pure _anger_ that's hidden there.

For a split second, all Keith can see is Lance.

"I knew you were still in there," Keith can't help but whisper, one hand reaching out to brush his fingers over the arch of Lance's cheek.

Lance's eyes go wide, and suddenly it's not Lance anymore but Child, and for all that part of Keith wishes he could take the words back so that he could see Lance again, part of him is glad to know that he hasn't lost Child altogether yet. Child steps back, releasing Keith and looking away, nervousness in his eyes.

Keith takes a moment to straighten his jacket, letting both of them compose themselves, before he looks back up at Child. "Can we talk?" Child raises an eyebrow at him, and the look is so reminiscent of Lance that Keith's chest aches. "You know what I mean," Keith says, rolling his eyes. Child nods and gestures toward his room. Keith steps inside, taking a moment to look around the space.

He hasn't been in here much in the last two years, but he can tell that Child hasn't done much to the room in the time he's been in here. Keith isn't sure if he's grateful or disappointed that Child hasn't made himself at home in Lance's space, torn between wanting to protect what little remnants of Lance he has left and wanting to give Child some sense of peace in return for what he's done to protect Lance's mind.

The door slides shut, and Keith turns around to face Child. He's leaning against the door, a challenging look in his eyes. Keith frowns, something in his mind finally clicking. "You're growing up," he says, something like desperation in his voice.

Child tenses, looking caught, before shoving past Keith and stripping his jacket off, clearly getting ready for bed.

Keith can't shake the disbelief in his voice. "You're _growing up_ ," he reiterates. "That's why the walls have been changing in your mind, because you're starting to understand what's going on. You…" Keith swallows, nerves suddenly taking over. "Do you not want me to find him?" Child throws a sock at Keith, but Keith barely notices. "You don't, do you? Because you're scared about what will happen after, about what Lance will do, and--"

Child gets abruptly to his feet, storming across the room and planting his hands on Keith's cheeks. Keith blinks, staring into Child's face and pausing long enough to tune into the resonating sensation in his chest. _Not scared for me_ , the sensation seems to say. _Scared for you_.

Keith blinks. "But why?"

Child lowers one hand and places it against the bruise on Keith's abdomen.

"Oh," Keith murmurs, glancing down at Child's hand.

Child's face is grim, and for an instant Keith wishes he could go back to the carefree Child of just a few weeks ago, the one that had mourned the loss of his bond with Karala and wanted so desperately to bond with Keith. That Child seems to be gone, and Keith can't help but mourn him a little.

With a swallow, Keith meets Child's eyes head on. "Do you… How badly do you want me to stop?" he asks, dreading the answer. Child presses his hand hard against the bruise, and Keith winces. "I know you don't want me to get hurt, but… do you really want me to stop trying?"

Child turns away, yanking his shirt off with a force that takes Keith by surprise.

"Because I will." The words surprise even Keith, to say nothing of the shock on Child's face when he turns around. But Keith knows it's true, and he steps forward, hands shaking when he takes Child's hands in his own. "I don't think we necessarily need Lance to form Voltron at this point. You're strong, you're fast, you're capable… we've all seen the way you can fight. We can see if Blue will accept you and we can try to fly together. Everyone… everyone knows how hard you've been trying, how hard you've been training, and if you want me to stop trying to find Lance, I will. You're important to me too, and if you want me to stop…." Keith swallows and shrugs. "I will."

Child stares down at him, shock and confusion in his eyes. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, before he finally, softly, asks, "Stop?"

Keith closes his eyes for an instant, pain in his chest. Then he opens them and nods up at Child. "Yes. I'll stop if you want me to. Is that what you want?"

Child steps closer, pressing his hand over Keith's heart. He stares down at his fingers for a few long moments before closing his eyes and leaning forward, forehead pressed against Keith's shoulder. "No," he says, the word sounding scratchy and strange, less practiced than the few words that have become standard in his spoken vocabulary. "No stop."

For a second, Keith can't believe what he just heard. Then, relief flooding him, he wraps Child up in his arms, only just resisting the urge to lift him off his feet and spin him round. He settles instead for pressing a desperate kiss to his temple. "Thank you," he whispers, shaking a little as he speaks. "Thank you."

\----

This time, as Keith wanders the halls of Lance's mind, he does as Pidge had suggested. He walks not toward the bluer walls, but toward the redder ones. As he does, it slowly becomes clear that he's headed toward the dead center of the ship, if only because the number of Galra patrols he has to dodge or quietly subdue are increasing in number. He can feel the excitement building in his chest as he walks, the certainty that this is it, that Pidge's words have cracked the mystery, that he's finally going to find Lance.

He rounds a corner to find the walls converging on a wide room with a small, isolated, boxy cell dead center, the whole cell a brilliantly red color. Keith can't help it; he sprints into the middle of the room, excitement and certainty making him foolish and hasty. He makes it to the cell and darts around to the other side, his eyes catching on the bright blue door knob that is the only aberration in the cell's red color. Keith reaches for the knob, turns it, and--

The door doesn't open.

Keith frowns, turning the handle and pushing at the door a few times, but it doesn't budge. Desperate, Keith slams a fist against the door. "Dammit, Lance, let me in!" There's no response from inside the room, but Keith's never been more certain of anything than he is of the fact that he's found Lance. "Let me in!"

This time, when the shot from the Galra blaster lands dead center in his back, Keith barely feels it, too elated to feel the tug back into his body.

Shiro's staring down at him, anger mingling with concern on his features. "You said you'd have us pull you out if anything went wrong!" he snaps, but Keith doesn't care. He has more important things to focus on.

"I… I think I found him."

"What?"

"I think I found Lance.”

\----

The whole castle is tense after Keith breaks the news. Hunk keeps pacing back and forth in the kitchen, and Pidge brings whatever they're tinkering with up to the lounge to work on it. Even Allura seems affected by the tension, biting her lip and holding back when normally she'd be the first to speak up. Child seems to pick up on everyone's tension and clings to Keith more than usual. When Child starts whining high and tight in the back of his throat at the way Shiro can't seem to keep still, Keith takes Child by the arm and leads him up to the training deck. Child looks surprised when Keith opens the door, but less so when Keith starts stripping out of his jacket.

Training together is something Keith used to do with Lance before they started dating, and something they did even more of afterward, learning each other in the way that only combat can teach. But since getting Lance back, the two of them have never so much as attempted a training sim together, aside from the ones the whole team has done together while they tried to relearn each other and figure out how they might fit together with this new person inhabiting Lance's body. Shiro's been taking care of most of Child's combat training, for which Keith has been more than a little grateful. Child and Shiro's training sessions have been some of the few times he could let himself stop thinking about whether or not he was ever going to get Lance back instead of letting his fears consume him.

Keith turns to face Child, initially surprised to see that he's left his shirt on. Lance always liked to show off when they sparred, and for all that Keith know Lance and Child are two different people, the visual counterpoint is still jarring sometimes. Child tilts his head to the side, sensing Keith's confusion, but Keith waves it off. Child grins back, settling into a defensive stance and lifting a cocky eyebrow to Keith, a challenge inherent in the glance.

Keith just grins back, darting forward to throw a punch he knows will be expertly parried.

It's easy to fall into old rhythms, and soothing to see and feel them matched in Child's movements. Shiro's obviously been training Child well if the ease and flow of his fighting style is any indication. It lets Keith relax into old habits, and Child answers them with an ease that would be more surprising if Keith hadn't just walked in his mind the day before and seen the chance that the remnants of Lance's mind are still there inside him. It should recall years of dancing around feelings and then years of dancing together in combat.

But it doesn't.

Because this is different. This isn't Lance and Keith, neck and neck, head to head, the way they were at first. This isn't Keith and Lance, dancing around each other, trying to ignore the tension between them that would have been so easy to snap if one of them had just been willing to take a leap of faith. This isn't Keith-and-Lance or Lance-and-Keith the way they were when Lance finally did take that leap of faith, never more than an arms width apart if they could help it. This is nothing like that.

This is just Keith and Child, just two people, dancing the dance of combat.

Keith isn't sure how long it takes for him to finally subdue Child, pinning him to the ground with his knees bracketing Child's hips and Child's wrists pressed to the ground. Child smiles up at him, bright and warm and welcoming and all Keith wants to do is give in to his instincts and press a kiss to his lips. But he doesn't, smiling back and sitting up, releasing Child's hands. Child props himself up on his elbows, clearly sensing Keith's discomfort. He reaches out to cup Keith's face in one hand, tilting his head to the side in question, and Keith lets the words spill over his lips.

"It's okay if you're scared. I'm scared too. And what I said before still holds. If you want me to stop…" Keith swallows, trying to be strong enough for the both of them. "If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so."

Child's eyes go wide, and Keith can tell he's a second away from pressing something through the bond when the alarm blares. Keith looks up at the red lights shining through the training room, signalling that he needs to head down to Red to fend off a Galra attack, and has to fight the temptation to groan at the enemy's terrible timing.

He looks back down at Child, pressing a kiss to the center of his forehead. "Whatever you say goes, alright?"

Child doesn't say anything or send anything through the bond as Keith gets to his feet and sprints out of the room. Keith supposes he should take that as a good sign.

\----

When they make it back to base a few hours later, bruised and battered but victorious, Child is nowhere to be found. Keith isn't worried at first; Child has been known to wander off to sit with Karala when he's stressed out. But when Child is late to dinner, later even than Karala and Zheerun, Keith starts to worry. He doesn't ask, though, knowing that Child will tell him when he's ready.

The knock on Keith’s door comes just as he's starting to fall asleep, and it's only the tug in his chest telling him that it's Child on the other side of the door that has Keith getting out of bed to open it. Child gives him a small, sheepish smile, and Keith can't help smiling back. "Can't sleep?" he asks, voice thick with sleep.

Child nods, and Keith steps aside, letting him in. It's not the first time this has happened, but it's been a while, and Keith had thought that Child was growing out of it, the same way he seemed to be growing up in general. But Keith also can't say that he's upset that Child has made his way back to him. It's been strange sleeping in an empty bed when Lance's body was right across the hall, and Keith's sure he's looked forward to the nights Child has spent with him more than Child has.

It's easy to spoon up behind Child in the bed, but Child squirms around in Keith's arms until he's facing him. Keith smiles tiredly at Child, leaning in to nuzzle at his cheek. "Go to sleep," he says softly. Child hums, and Keith is close enough to sleep himself that it's easy to walk right up to the tide and let the oceans of exhaustion pull him under, not even feeling the way Child's fingers dance and linger over his features.

\----

When Keith opens his eyes and sees the familiar purple walls of the Galra cruiser around him, he can't help but groan. He knows he has a problem, but to know that he's become so obsessed with trying to find Lance's soul that it's even taking over his dreams is a little embarrassing. It's easy to let instinct take over and wander the halls toward the center of Child's mind, to the red cell block that holds what's left of Lance's soul. There are no Galra soldiers in the halls, which eases his way, and it's a quick trek to the center of Child's mind.

Keith brushes his fingers over the door, wondering idly what would happen if he was able to open the door here in a dream. Would it make it hurt more not to be able to open it the next time he walks in Child's mind? Would it just be one more reminder of all the ways Keith has failed Lance? Or would it give him some sliver of hope that he might be able to reach Lance some day in the future? That, one day, Child would let him in? Without much hope, Keith turns the knob.

The door swings open.

Shock and a nervous sort of hope twine through Keith's lungs, and he can't help stepping into the room. It's dark, but the second he crosses the threshold it's flooded with light. There's a gasp from somewhere on the other side of the room, and Keith almost gives himself whiplash turning to face it.

There's a person curled up in the corner, scrawny and clearly underfed, knees pulled up to their chest and fingers clutched tight in familiar brown locks. Keith rushes across the room, ready to drop to his knees in front of the figure when the figure whimpers, knees curling tighter against his chest, and then there's another body on the floor between them, appearing without warning and sprawled haphazardly on the ground. Keith stops short and has to fight back a wave of nausea, because that's not just any body that's lying between him and what's left of Lance.

That's _Keith's_ body.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to think about the implications of what he's seeing, and focusing instead on what he can control. "Lance," he says, dropping to his knees on the other side of the body that's separating them. "Lance, please," he begs, forgetting for an instant that this is just a dream.

Lance whimpers, curling in tighter against himself, and Keith aches with the need to reach out for him. But if he can't make it through Lance's trauma without stepping over it, what good is he to his lover anyway?

"Lance," he tries again, "please, just look at me. I'm not… I'm not dead," he says, stuttering over the word. "I'm right here. Please, look at me."

Lance relaxes a little, clearly soothed by the tone in Keith's voice. "Keith…?" he asks softly.

Keith grins, encouraged. "Yeah, Lance, it's me," he says, voice hoarse with desperation. "I'm right here. I'm fine. I promise."

Lance shakes his head. "That's what they always say."

Keith's chest aches, and he wishes he could do more than comfort illusions of his own creation, born of his own fears about what Lance faced during his time with the Galra. "I know, Lance, but I promise, it's real this time. It's me."

Slowly--slow enough that Keith almost thinks he's not going to finish the motion--Lance looks up at him. But he does, he looks up at Keith and blinks slowly at him. "Keith…?" he breathes.

Keith smiles, feeling oddly encouraged. "Yeah, Lance. It's me. I'm right here."

The image of the body between them flickers in and out of sight a few times, and Keith has to fight not to jump out of his skin at the sight. But he keeps his eyes on Lance and keeps himself steady.

"I'm right here."

Slowly, Lance uncurls from where he's sitting on the floor. The movement is slow and uncoordinated, as though he's forgotten how to move and his muscles are out of practice. He almost collapses as he tries to move, but he catches himself on all fours, crawling slowly toward Keith. The body flickers in and out of sight a few more times, and Keith smiles encouragingly, reaching a hand out to Lance.

"I'm right here."

The body flickers out of existence entirely, and Lance finishes making his way to Keith by practically throwing himself at him, catching his weight on Keith's shoulders. Keith takes his weight with some difficulty, only just managing to keep his balance. Lance searches his face, his eyes desperate and hollow, but there's a spark there that Keith latches onto like a lifeline. "Keith," Lance says again, "you're really…"

Keith doesn't hear what else Lance is going to say, because Lance launches himself forward, pressing his mouth to Keith's and kissing him like his life depends on it. Keith twists his fingers in the overlong hair at the base of Lance's neck, pulling him in close and returning the kiss with equal fervor. Lance moans into his mouth, and Keith thinks he could be content to stay like this forever.

At least, he thinks that until he hears the door creaking ominously. Keith pulls back from the kiss, something in his chest telling him that this is more urgent than it seems. He watches the door start to creak closed and suddenly it hits him like a lightning bolt.

This isn't a dream.

Keith sucks in a sharp breath and gets to his feet, holding his hand out to Lance. "Come on," he says, "we have to get you out of here."

"Why?" Lance asks, sounding confused. "It's safe in here."

"But it's not real," Keith says, trying for gentle and missing it by a mile if Lance's flinch is any indication. "It's not real, don't you--" Keith cuts himself off, remembering what happened the last time he asked Lance if he understood the gravity of the situation.

For an instant, Keith thinks of throwing Lance over his shoulder and hauling him out against his will, but he discards that plan almost instantly. This has to be Lance's decision and Lance's decision alone.

"Please, Lance. Please, just… come with me."

"But it's safe in here," Lance says again, and Keith can see his own body flickering back into existence behind Lance, followed in rapid succession by Hunk's and Shiro's and Pidge's. "It's safe."

"I know," Keith says, desperation making him careless as he tries not to focus on the sound of the door slowly creaking shut behind him. "But it's not--" And then another idea comes to him, truer and yet crueler than he could have expected. "But I can't stay with you here."

Lance sucks in a sharp breath, and the four bodies behind him flicker into sharp relief, even as the lights in the room flicker briefly, plunging them into momentary darkness. "What?"

"I can't stay with you here, Lance. I have a responsibility to the universe, and to our friends. If you won't come with me, I'll have to go by myself."

Lance stares up at him, betrayal in his eyes, and it takes all of Keith's strength not to kneel down and take it all back.

The light in the room flickers again, as though it's about to go out, and in the split second of darkness, Keith knows what he has to do. He looks down at Lance and speaks the truest words he's ever spoken. "Don't ask me to leave you behind again."

Lance jerks as though he's just been shocked, and he stares up at Keith, desperation in his eyes. "I don't… Keith, I don't know if I'm strong enough."

"I know," Keith says, and he does; he can feel it resonating down their bond as it slowly shifts away from Child and toward Lance. "But you're not alone anymore. You're not alone."

Lance stares up at him. "…Promise?" he asks, fear softening his voice.

"I swear it on my love for you," Keith says, conviction making him strong.

Lance blinks, looking startled. Then his face softens into a smile. With a slow nod, he reaches up, taking Keith's hand. As Keith pulls him to his feet, gratitude welling in his chest, the once flickering light swells and stretches to fill the room, suddenly so bright that Keith can't help but squeeze his eyes shut, his grip on Lance's hand tightening.

 _Thank you_.

The familiar pressure behind Keith's sternum yanks hard, and though he fights to keep hold of Lance's hand, he doesn't quite manage it. As Lance's fingers slip from his grip, Keith lets loose a scream that he knows will be lost to the void and prays that everything he did, however insufficient it might be, will be enough. That _he’ll_ be enough. That Lance will follow him out of the depths of his mind and back into reality.

Keith startles awake in his bed, jerking to sit upright while his heart hammers and his breath comes in ragged gasps. He takes his time catching his breath, trying to take stock of his surroundings, before slowly, slowly, turning to face the warm body beside him.

The moment he does, he feels the hard fought breath leave his chest again. Because the expression on the face smiling back at him, gentle, soft, and a little fragile, is unmistakable. Keith lets himself sit there, in limbo, for what might be the longest moment of his life, before he lets the word slip past his lips on a rush of breath.

“ _Lance_.”

Lance closes his eyes, shivering, before he reopens them, their radiance stunning even Keith. He nods once, and Keith doesn’t bother trying to stop himself from diving forward and kissing Lance square on the mouth. Lance laughs and accepts the kiss with good grace, giving as good as he’s getting, and it’s that above all else that finally breaks Keith.

He draws back and sits up, hand pressed over his mouth, while he fights not to start crying. But Lance just smiles up at him, fingers sliding into his hair.

 _Hi_ , Lance whispers through their bond, and Keith chokes on another sob.

“Hi,” Keith says aloud, and Lance shudders again. Lance slowly pulls himself upright to meet Keith, his eyes raking hungrily over Keith’s features. Keith thinks he should feel embarrassed, but instead all he feels is desperate, and he finds himself doing the same. He’s long since grown accustomed to the burn scars on Lance’s face, but now he’s seeing those features rearrange themselves in familiar ways, gentle and certain, and yet still ever so slightly guarded the way Lance always used to be. It leaves Keith feeling vulnerable in a way he hadn’t with Child, comfortable the way he’s always been with Lance, and tempted as he hasn’t been in two years. He licks his lips, and Lance’s eyes flick down to them, heat flaring in his gaze. Keith holds back, though, letting Lance reach up and map his lips with his fingers instead. Slowly, his fingers course over every contour of Keith’s face, pausing at the scar over his right eye. He cocks an eyebrow at Keith, who laughs. “Training accident,” he admits. “Allura said I was being too reckless and wouldn’t let me in the pods to heal.” Lance rolls his eyes and goes back to mapping Keith’s features. Eventually his hands drop down to twine with his fingers with Keith’s, and as Keith looks down at them, he remembers that he’s not the only one that’s missed Lance. “We should, uh.” Keith swallows, looking back up at Lance. “We should probably go tell the others.”

Lance doesn’t meet his gaze, eyes still fixed on their linked hands. After a moment, he leans forward, letting his forehead come to rest against Keith’s. _Probably._

Neither of them moves to do so. In fact, for a long time, the two of them can do nothing but sit together, existing in the same space and breathing the same air. For now, that seems to be all they want. All they need. All they’re capable of. And, to be honest, Keith’s fine with that.

The team’s waited two years. They can wait another two hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo we've made it through one of the big plot points/fallout issues that need to be dealt with! There's three major plot points left to tie up, only two of which I'm going to handle in the main set of updates, and I'm going to be honest--the next one is being rather difficult to handle. So, as with last time, no promises on an update in three days, but I shall do my best!! And I know I haven't said this often enough before, but thank you, thank you, _thank you_ to all the kind commenters that have followed this piece along; you folks are the air I breathe and the energy that keeps me going. I love you all so much.
> 
> Did you catch the retcon? Let me know if you did in the comments!! [Come hang with me on tumblr!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


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